what's happening

As I am exploring myself I am getting more n more complicated. Just few days back I read somewhere .. "You will become whatever you want to be...". Am I want to become complicated .. never.

Just take an Example of today. I am normal till the evening. Just like every one else. Wake up late as it's sunday.took breakfast. watch some silly movie from the DVD i bought yesterday. take a nap. had a lunch .. try to chat few gals.... ya!!! every body will do that if having free internetand laptop. was completely fine till evening.

Then go to have some tea. Try to see what's in newspapers ..... here the things started .... I saw some columns from Times of India .. some Quotes .. and that's it. My mood is completly changed .. I am writting blog for "Love Actually" searching on the net for "Dnyaneshwar" , "Vitthal" , "Pandhari" ....
Nobody does that at my age .... why I am doing this ...

I don't know who Am I ... The one I was living from the morning or the one which I became after evening. I don't want to be the religious person. Hmmmmm.. my friends will laugh If anybody reads this. Me and religious. All of them know that I don't believe in god (?). I never admit myself in front of god by myself. I only do when somebody tells me or when I visit some holy place with frnds or family.

And truly speaking I don't believe in YOUR god. Yes I believe in God but my definitioon of god is completly diffrent than any person I have ever met before or anything I have read before.

I will explain it but later.

Am I Psycho ..

I sometimes feels like a Psycho ...

I do somethings like psycho... sometims think like Psycho. Like in Last week I worked like a hell. Nothing that special. The things I did that could be done in coming days also. But still I go for doing the things like I wanted to keep myself so much busy in something.

Even Now I am writtinng this blog around 1:05 am. No reason. just doing.

Is it a kind os psycho. or I have loos e my power of thing reasonable like other peaoples. what shoould be done when. Nowdays (?) I do things but don't know the exact reason behind this.. I do thing just for the sakke of doing... Isn't it like a psycho.

Other thing .. Nowadays I think I am loosing my feelings .. I just can't damm feel anything..... maybe that's the reason I am doing things like just for a sake...

I don't get involved anywhere .. just doing something with myself. Is this because I am more lonely here. No such a frnd that I could share my most of the time with. Most of the time I am sitting in front of this "Intelligent BOX" keeping myself busy with it.....
I have finished my work around 1.5 hrs back plus haven't comepleted my sleep yesterday .. regularly less sleeping in this week .. still still I am here writing this blog .. watching the seen movie again .. I don't know what I am doing...

I know its not good .. but can't do anything else ..

Something to remeber ... today

I just can't believe this ..

It's my forgotten wish to be there at KONARK temple  someday .. I was wishing like  I woould be ther someday  ..

I don't know but there is some relation between me and that temple . Maybe that's the most famous temple of SUN (SURYA-DEV). an I ma having big imact of him on mine .. yes I am agreeing that .

But this is quite unbeleivable . in the same day I am watching pics of the KONARK temple twice.

In the morning I had seen some beaultifull pics on Orkut and now I was just roaming on in.com public gallary and it just came in front of me  .. again. is it just a coincedence or something else.

Maybe I always wish to llive like in the stories .. something hidden  is there or I am  reveiling some truth. Is it because of this .. I am relating this with me ?

I don't know it now. but maybe someday I will get the answer.

just putting one of those pics ... see how beautifull it is